Body Soiree

I had a hard time letting go. People, things with any type of sentimental attachment, etc. It was the idea that I had abandoned someone that I couldn't shake. What if they might need me? What if they are left alone and something bad happens to them? What if all they need is just one more chance to act right and I leave? Then what?! I am writing about this because just last night, as I was cleaning out my backpack, a note from years ago dropped out of my agenda. It was a note written by an ex-fiance listing all of the reasons he loved me. This note was written over seven years ago... why do I still have it? I thought I had become this person who every six months cleans house, literally and figuratively. Clothes, shoes, linens, people, I clean house, but I guess old habits die hard and for some reason I kept this list and then promptly put it away and purposely forgot it.  Did I need validation? I was a good Woman to him, he was a donkey( did you know some donkey's walk and talk...

A Client asked me how is it that the weight he gained just 'sneaked' up on him? I said it didn't, though it will feel like it. I told him he wasn't paying attention, he allowed himself to get lost in the shuffle of life. That fat will roll (excuse the pun!) up on you like a thief in the night and you will go from size 8 to 20 without blinking, I am talking from experience here. We all get caught up in the everyday of it, the IT being life and we will create all manner of reasons to not take control of our self-destructive behaviors, am I right? I have heard most of the excuse's, from my feet hurt from work( they just might), to my children won't let me!? Really? Who is in charge here? Did you just throw your children under the bus? Excuse's aren't needed; Life happens and sometimes getting overweight and unhealthy happens with it, but don't despair, there is a fix. It isn't a quick fix, an easy fix or a magic pill. This requires that you pay atte...

"Learn to love yourself, so that you may focus on loving another." Anon I love a good quote and this is one of many that I love. Why? It is so true. How many of us, man or woman, have tried and failed at relationships because we had no self-love? my hand is up and waving! If you think about it, it makes perfect sense, we just don't like to own it. I also dislike the fact that my mother used to say this to me a lot "If you can't love yourself, you can't love anyone else." Quote, end quote. Okay, so she was right..kinda. I know what you are saying, " I have loved plenty of people and maybe not have cared for myself all that much" and I will agree, so did I, but did it last? I can only speak for myself, no, none of the relationship's lasted, because I didn't have a good relationship with me. The key word in the quote above is Focus. We, as women, tend to focus more on others: children, men, job, education, etc. than ourselves. Everythin...

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you really have to ask: What the heck was going on?!  I wish I could say it was everyone else that had gone a little bonkers, but it was me as well, I can't lie to you.  It started out with me being locked in a cage, in the basement of my place of work. Yes, locked in a CAGE! I won't go deep into how it happened( because it makes me look really dumb and you don't need that thought in your head) but I will say this: I built a mountain of crates to get over the cage wall and as I went to swing one leg over... My Vagina spoke to me! In a faint, but clear voice, I heard: "Do you not see how narrow that ledge is my dear? Are you really going to straddle that? Let's take a moment Dawn dear to think about this and the pain that will be there after your balancing act." How did I get out? I screamed until another Trainer heard me. I will never live this one down. Twice this past week I have been blocked by cars on train tracks...

As anyone that knows me knows; I love happiness. I go out of my way to be happy and I try and only bring happiness to others. There are some people that say they do, but then go out of their way to be miserable, I am not that person. I really do choose happiness, well most days I do. Like any normal human there are days that I am not feeling It. Meaning: I am not feeling happy and I choose not to be happy. I am kind of enjoying being a grouch and talking smack to myself.  On these days I also choose not to be around happy people, you will find that they will get on your nerves quick with all of their happy talk and attitude! Who do they think they are anyway? On days like this I choose to watch "Reality" television and all of the other fecal matter that is on t.v and there is a lot of crap to choose from. On days like this I choose not to exercise. Because exercise makes you feel good AND happy; can't have that! After the bad t.v and no exercise regime, I usually have rea...

I love my town, I really do. It has a bad reputation and I truly believe it does just because there are a lot of ethnic people that live here. It is a suburban town that sits perfectly between two lovely cities; Chicago and Milwaukee. My town is like most small cities, high to low income, issues with the school district and the politics that surround everything; but, I love my town. I love walking down the street and seeing people working in their gardens. On one side of the street their is a man and woman working in the yard, and he has on a kilt, a Led Zeppelin t-shirt and sneakers. On the other side of the street there is a Black man wearing karate pants and a rice paddy hat! Really? All I can do is giggle as I watch the Vatos locos in their low riders, am I back in California? They give me the peace sign and I nod my head in acknowledgment and we both keep movin'. When you live in a town of different ethnic groups, there is always the lovely food to try. I can walk down th...

Besides me trying to be the most positive person EVER ! I have really been working on forgiveness. Oh Yes, the F-word.  Holy Crap! it's hard.  I read a book that requests that you list all of the people that have crossed you, every last one , then write how they have wronged you. You will be amazed at how long this list can get. Then, when you have done all of this, here is the kicker: YOU MUST FORGIVE THEM! Incredibly difficult and mind blowing. Why? Because as you are writing all of this stuff down, you start to notice a pattern in your behavior and in your interactions with other people. If you are willing to recognize it for what it is, great change can happen for you! There can be no excuses, because the Truth will be staring you right in the face, all in black and white. The questions I started asking myself, once I noticed my patterns were: 1. Why did I attract these particular people into my life( Family we can do absolutely nothing about.. sorry!)?  2. Why did I ...

This is a true story. Names have been changed to protect the innocent... and the not so innocent.  On Mothers Day I received a text from someone I used to date. Not anything special, just a "Have a happy Mother's Day" and wishing me well.  I didn't think much of it, until I started getting responses from unidentified numbers.  I just assumed that these women were relatives of his. No problem. Two days later, I receive a text from an unidentified number, again! Asking the question " Are you at work?" by the "tone" I knew this was an intimate question and I most certainly knew it wasn't meant for me. The response, when it came, was "Yeah, what's going on?" Sounds innocent enough, right? Well obviously by all of the irate responses to this most innocent text, a lot of the ladies on that thread from Mothers Day didn't think so! Mr. "think things through" Mr. TTT for short, had created and sent a text thread to all of his...

It has been a long time since I have gotten into an argument. And I hadn't planned on getting into one, but there I was, defending myself.  It was all over me not agreeing with something this person said and they stated that I am judging them. Well, first let me say, to a certain extent we all judge.  Yes, we do. One of the definitions for the word judge:   to form an opinion about (something or someone) after careful thought . Don't we all form opinions? Is it safe to say with careful consideration? I haven't been  prone to make "snap" judgement's, or I don't believe I do.  It seems to me that you can't disagree with folks without them calling you judgmental. Do they realize that they are using this word out of context? Or are they? The second definition to judge:  : to regard (someone) as either good or bad. Is this a bad thing? Or is this just common sense? Some things ARE bad and some things ARE good. To call something out as one or the other does...

As a Personal Trainer you will have all types of clients and hopefully you will at least like most of them. But there are those clients that stand out and insert themselves into your heart without you looking, Patrick is one of those clients for me. Patrick is a tall, gangling young man who happens to be Autistic. His observations on Life and weight loss are simple and direct. I call them: The Patrick Rules- Eating too much candy will Kill you, especially chocolate. Now mind you, Patrick loves chocolate. Rated R movies shouldn't be watched, because you never know what you are going to get. His words exactly. Don't be mean or grouchy, it will steal smiles. Patrick works hard and he is steadfast. He never complains! And I love how he will say to me, when something is new for him and a little bit difficult " Dawn, this is challenging, but I have faith in Me, I can do it." Wow. Patrick is also his own "hype man" whenever he does well, he will say to himself, ...

As I have gotten older I have realized what a know-it-all I have been. I say "have been" because I also realized that I don't know squat about a lot of things. I just turned forty...something, and as I look back I am a little bit ashamed of how I didn't like to take advice or listen to people who actually did know what they were talking about. Is that youth or being a know-it-all? Or are those two intertwined? It was a point of pride for me to be able to figure things out on my own when I was younger. I felt that by asking for advice or seeking help made me immature and that people would think me weak and unprepared for life. How insecure and wrong I was. To ask for help doesn't make you weak, it makes you wise. There have been so many times throughout my life that I have needed help and couldn't bring myself to ask for help. If I had, it would have saved me a lot of heartache I am sure.  One of my friends has a saying "A closed mouth, is a hungry mouth....

I love to see people doing kind things for other people. The opening of a door, picking up something that someone dropped, or paying for someone's coffee. All acts of kindness that back in the day would have been rote; not so much in today's market, huh?  Bad news and bad behavior seem to be king and the king is doing big business. We have two types of people here: The naughty that are never nice and on the other hand the self-aggrandizing, bloated ego and oh, please stroke it! Look at what I did club. The naughty but never nice people I can deal with. We all see them for who they are, because they don't try to be anything else. There is no pretense; they are jerks. It is the other group that bothers me. I started this blog by listing a few kind things that I have seen people do for others, now imagine the same people, after doing these kind acts, running to their computers to  immediately  post, tweet or blog about what they had done? I have seen this happen, on a bigger...

I woke up today aggravated. I mean really in a nasty mood, I don't know why, I was just...mean.  It was a mood where nothing made me happy, the voice in my head was peevish, grouchy and full of snark! and I am not at all proud of this. You know it is a bad mood when coffee won't even help. What!? No, my great comforter coffee couldn't even get me out of this dark cloud. When I get like this, and sometimes I do, the best thing for me to do is a self-evaluation. My first question to myself is: What the @!#& is wrong with you!? It is asked in a very professional way and in a secure environment. Second question: Do you need a drink? Totally out of the question! It is nine a.m. I could go by International time, but I won't do that. Third question: You don't plan on doing anything crazy do you? I mean something that could land you in jail? This is a two part question and must be thought out carefully. Crazy is a harsh term and jail isn't an option; especially if I...

As I sat and listened to some ladies in the locker room today tear themselves down; I wondered: Why?  I have seen the same bunch walking around the gym, talking... talking... and talking some more. Rarely do they really work out, so why the self-deprecating remarks? I know people do this when they are feeling insecure or they are fishing for a compliment. But what I have never understood about this, is the fact that most of the people that I know that are constantly talking badly about themselves, never want to put in the work to change! It is infuriating and frustrating. I have had Clients like this, always ready with the ever present self-deprecating remark, but when I give them a solution for the problem; nope! Too much work, too much time, too much of something that has absolutely nothing to do with the issue at hand. I came to a conclusion, and I might be wrong, but I think some folks love talking crap about themselves and rolling in the same crap. No seriously! Or why would t...

My peace of mind means everything to me.  I find the older and wiser I get, the more I run away, and I mean run, from situations and people that "bring the drama." Being around upheaval is draining. I even noticed when you see people that thrive on drama, it shows up on their faces, meaning they look old and unhappy. Inner- peace is what matters. Research has shown over and over what having that sense of well-being can and will do for you: A better outlook on life in general. Better relations with family and co-workers. Better Health AND a "Youthful" outlook on life. Peace, it does a body good. So what should we do to get this peace? My first move was to stay away from the drama seekers. They are like junkies, always looking for their next fix of  the melodramatic and if they don't find it; they WILL create. I put a no douchebag sign up. Douchebags are in the drama junkie family, except meaner.  I banned gossip and gossipers! This is key to the peace of mind wor...

I am asked quite a bit "Do you date?" When I answer "No, I don't." my answer gets such weird responses. Some have outright called me a liar (why would I need to lie about that?), others are incredulous and start asking me personal questions; to the point of embarrassment! My sexual orientation has been questioned, I have been told I am "Too Alpha" and most men can't handle,won't like or tolerate this. Who knew?!  Why are people so amazed that there is a single woman that chooses not to date? Am I such an anomaly? My ego would love to believe that I am something special, a puzzle to figure out; but I know better. I believe that there are a lot of women AND men like me: Just enjoying my space, my time, my own company. It really isn't complicated.  My last relationship was a serious thing, a force to be reckoned with. All hearts and emotion and we are going to get married talk...then the implosion, explosion and all the other "plosions...