Jerk Fest

As anyone that knows me knows; I love happiness. I go out of my way to be happy and I try and only bring happiness to others. There are some people that say they do, but then go out of their way to be miserable, I am not that person. I really do choose happiness, well most days I do. Like any normal human there are days that I am not feeling It. Meaning: I am not feeling happy and I choose not to be happy. I am kind of enjoying being a grouch and talking smack to myself.  On these days I also choose not to be around happy people, you will find that they will get on your nerves quick with all of their happy talk and attitude! Who do they think they are anyway? On days like this I choose to watch "Reality" television and all of the other fecal matter that is on t.v and there is a lot of crap to choose from. On days like this I choose not to exercise. Because exercise makes you feel good AND happy; can't have that! After the bad t.v and no exercise regime, I usually have reached my goal of feeling as if someone has just vomited on me. Negative thoughts and memories are usually dredged up on days like this. It is the proverbial icing on the negative pound cake. How can we be completely dissatisfied and unhappy without thinking about all of the people who hurt us or did (insert incident) to us? Once I have stirred myself up with all of the above; I realize that I don't feel so great. But wasn't that what I was trying to accomplish in the first place? And I don't like the fact that I did this to myself. Like most things, it was my personal choice to feel bad. So I guess I ... won? Well what did I win? A horrible, cynical attitude, that's about it. I don't fight having days like this, I used to try. But I also CHOOSE not to allow this type of behavior to get out of control. Feel what you need to feel and then work through it and out of it. Happiness is work, but the latter is so much harder. Wishing you peace and love, but mostly Peace. 

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