Body Soiree

"We need never be ashamed of our tears." Charles Dickens Growing up I was made to feel ashamed of my tears. Often called 'dramatic' or the Black Marilyn Monroe, I took to hiding my tears. As a kid this is a really hard thing to do! Children are or should be so much more connected to their feelings than adults. But when you are told to stop crying, even when you feel hurt or your feelings are minimized and mocked, you build interior and exterior walls. You might even start discounting or second guessing your own feelings. If you are doing this to yourself, I am here to tell you that you have the right to feel...everything!  Have a heart that never hardens... Charles Dickens I used to date a man that was uncomfortable with my tears. If and when I would cry, he would leave the room. No soft touch he would give me or a reassuring word. He would just... leave. It would only make me cry harder. I learned to hide my tears or sadness to please him, just like my child...

                  "Do NOT feed the fears" I have been called "unrealistic." I have been called "Polly Anna." I have been told to face reality, though this reality that I was told to face wasn't mine. But, when I speak the truth, I have also been called a cynic, so there's that(make up your minds!).  I have always found it funny those that call me or those like me, unrealistic. As a Black Woman in America, I get reality checks daily. It is all around me. On the internet, television, spoken of and passed through the DNA. The trauma is real. I don't need reminders or validation from others regarding the trauma, it's there. This is what I call the "Trauma Culture." This isn't people wanting to discuss the trauma, whatever it is, and then heal. No! This is let's roll in the trauma. Let's constantly mire ourselves in it until we can't think or act! Until we can't think about healing because we are so focused on the...

I am a prideful person. I have never denied it and I have learned, through trial and error, to ask for help. To write about it is even harder! But I had a one-woman intervention and this is part of my "therapy." As some of you know, at least the ones that follow my blogs, this past Summer was an eye-opener. My health was out of control and the pain my body was, sometimes still is in, was something I couldn't control...or so I thought. To be a Fitness Professional, to be a Woman that is used to being able to move and lift at will, my body IS my business. How does this happen? And how do I stop this? I am not going to go into the lurid details of all of my symptoms. This isn't a blog for me to gripe. This is all about me trying to help someone, anyone who might be in pain right now. Steps to help all of us lessen our pain. Here is my disclaimer: This is not a cure for getting rid of the swelling. What I do for myself, might NOT help you. Any autoimmune disorder needs to...

In order to enter the "Land of Change with All Things Possible" an open mind is required. What do I mean by that? We have all heard the saying "A closed mind is like a fist, nothing gets in" and when I say nothing; I mean nothing.  Have you ever tried to talk to a person like this? Frustrating, isn't it? There is nothing positive, there is no motivation, there is no light being allowed in the all the dark places! I say "It sure is a beautiful day out!" They respond "Yeah, but later it will probably rain." (insert eye roll) I say: "What a nice family they are." They respond: "I hear there is a lot of mental illness in that family." WHAT!? 1. How do you even know this!? 2.Why is that something you would repeat even if it is true!? Do you get my point here? With people like this there is a tendency to be closed to good things, as if feeling good is a felony and they are the police! No ONE on MY watch will feel Happy DANG IT! ...

I heard a story the other day that made my hair stand on end(that says a lot seeing that my hair stands on end anyway!) My hair on end and anger growing, I listened to this story told to me from a young lady that I have known for some time regarding how she was hurt by a Personal Trainer. Hurt how? I asked.  She responded by telling me this Trainer's training style: If you say the exercise is hurting you, they respond by saying "PUSH THROUGH!" You say it is really hurting your back, they say "NO PAIN! NO GAIN!" Really? She told me a few more things that were upsetting and I apologized to her for all of us Trainers that try and leave our ego's at the door. Here is the deal everyone, and I need you to remember this: Exercise, though sometimes difficult to get through, is done to make you feel better! Hiring a Personal Trainer is a smart and honest move for people that understand they aren't going to go the distance on their own. So I wonder: Why hire some...