Maybe being "unrealistic" Isn't So Bad!
"Do NOT feed the fears"
I have been called "unrealistic." I have been called "Polly Anna." I have been told to face reality, though this reality that I was told to face wasn't mine. But, when I speak the truth, I have also been called a cynic, so there's that(make up your minds!). I have always found it funny those that call me or those like me, unrealistic. As a Black Woman in America, I get reality checks daily. It is all around me. On the internet, television, spoken of and passed through the DNA. The trauma is real. I don't need reminders or validation from others regarding the trauma, it's there. This is what I call the "Trauma Culture." This isn't people wanting to discuss the trauma, whatever it is, and then heal. No! This is let's roll in the trauma. Let's constantly mire ourselves in it until we can't think or act! Until we can't think about healing because we are so focused on the pain. This is a "reality" that I choose not to accept.
"PTSD isn't about what is wrong with you.
It's about what has happened to you."
Anonymous
We all have a story. Some good, some really bad. But each one with a story to tell. My Mama used to say "It is your job to stay alive. Stay alive to tell the tale." and I believe this in my bones. We can suffer and wither. We can lie down and choose to slowly fade and how many of us have wanted to do this? There is no shame in this! If we are going to talk reality, this is a reality. But! There is another reality: Those of not just Survivor's, but people that survive and Live! The ones that have survived trauma and have shown that they are ready to move past the hurt. Does this make them unrealistic? Not at all. These are the bravest people! The ones that can see their past clearly, know and understand, discuss, accept the trauma, seek and accept help, grow and thrive. Did you see how many times I used the word accept? Acceptance is everything. If we can't accept the reality of the situation(past or present?)how can we heal? We can't.
"The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be."
Anonymous
I love Life. Through my trials and tribulations brought on by others or myself, I figured this out. There is a saying and I forget who said it, but it goes like this: "You can have pain, but suffering is a choice." I really had to think about this one! lol, because automatically when we think of pain we think of suffering. But thinking over some things I realized that though I have and still do sometimes have pain, mentally or physically, I am not suffering. I choose not to fall down the rabbit hole into misery, wretched and without hope. I choose to hold on to get past the pain to something better. Easy? No. Possible, most definitely. How do we know? We have too many examples of those that have. Which brings me to my conclusion and I shall state it as simply as possible; To constantly engage, focus and disseminate trauma is to negate all of the hope and love that has been passed down from those that had to live it every day. If you are discussing painful events with a solution, then yes! let's talk. That is constructive and healing. That should be the focus. The goal is building up, not tearing down. Which lane are you in? Wishing you love and peace, but mostly, Peace.
I have been called "unrealistic." I have been called "Polly Anna." I have been told to face reality, though this reality that I was told to face wasn't mine. But, when I speak the truth, I have also been called a cynic, so there's that(make up your minds!). I have always found it funny those that call me or those like me, unrealistic. As a Black Woman in America, I get reality checks daily. It is all around me. On the internet, television, spoken of and passed through the DNA. The trauma is real. I don't need reminders or validation from others regarding the trauma, it's there. This is what I call the "Trauma Culture." This isn't people wanting to discuss the trauma, whatever it is, and then heal. No! This is let's roll in the trauma. Let's constantly mire ourselves in it until we can't think or act! Until we can't think about healing because we are so focused on the pain. This is a "reality" that I choose not to accept.
"PTSD isn't about what is wrong with you.
It's about what has happened to you."
Anonymous
We all have a story. Some good, some really bad. But each one with a story to tell. My Mama used to say "It is your job to stay alive. Stay alive to tell the tale." and I believe this in my bones. We can suffer and wither. We can lie down and choose to slowly fade and how many of us have wanted to do this? There is no shame in this! If we are going to talk reality, this is a reality. But! There is another reality: Those of not just Survivor's, but people that survive and Live! The ones that have survived trauma and have shown that they are ready to move past the hurt. Does this make them unrealistic? Not at all. These are the bravest people! The ones that can see their past clearly, know and understand, discuss, accept the trauma, seek and accept help, grow and thrive. Did you see how many times I used the word accept? Acceptance is everything. If we can't accept the reality of the situation(past or present?)how can we heal? We can't.
"The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be."
Anonymous
I love Life. Through my trials and tribulations brought on by others or myself, I figured this out. There is a saying and I forget who said it, but it goes like this: "You can have pain, but suffering is a choice." I really had to think about this one! lol, because automatically when we think of pain we think of suffering. But thinking over some things I realized that though I have and still do sometimes have pain, mentally or physically, I am not suffering. I choose not to fall down the rabbit hole into misery, wretched and without hope. I choose to hold on to get past the pain to something better. Easy? No. Possible, most definitely. How do we know? We have too many examples of those that have. Which brings me to my conclusion and I shall state it as simply as possible; To constantly engage, focus and disseminate trauma is to negate all of the hope and love that has been passed down from those that had to live it every day. If you are discussing painful events with a solution, then yes! let's talk. That is constructive and healing. That should be the focus. The goal is building up, not tearing down. Which lane are you in? Wishing you love and peace, but mostly, Peace.
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