You Don't Have The Right!

In the present environment with all of the sexual harassment and sexual assault cases flying about, I decided to write this. Some people would say that sexual harassment is the same for all. It isn't! But after reading or listening to some of these stories; the one thing most of us do have in common is the silence after we have been harassed/assaulted. I remember being hemmed up in a stairwell, fighting this "man" who was bound and determined to rip my pants off. A co-worker he was married with children. We both worked third shift. I was on break and decided to take the stairs that led downstairs to the vending machines. He followed. Anyone who has ever had to fight to not be assaulted knows the terror and adrenaline that is running through your body when this happens. Fight or flight has totally kicked in, and you are incredulous that it is happening to you. Since that long ago time I have been accosted either verbally or physically again and again. I use to ask myself "Why is this happening to me?" or "What did I do to attract such buttwads?!" Nothing. Absolutely nothing! Why do we always blame ourselves for other peoples bad behavior(s)? Why do we take that on? I started being scared of riding elevators! Stairwells were a no-no! I felt I was in a movie about the Mob! Elevators and stairwells are deathtraps. Then I had the "Touchers" These are the people that think it is their right to pull your hair, touch your butt and even my nipples were not safe! Comments about my backside as if I were on the Auction Block. Yeeaaahh...it can get deep Yo'. Asked, in front of others, about the prowess and length and width of a Black Mans penis. Most of these infractions, by the way, were done by White women towards me. I learned through all of this to find my voice. I. LEARNED. TO. SHOUT! I learned to say "You don't have the right to touch me.""You don't have the right to say that to me." "What you are doing is inappropriate, and you will STOP NOW!" or my favorite and the one that stops the show:"You don't have the right to touch me. Do you think this is the Auction Block?" They look so befuddled when asked that. Their befuddlement even befuddles me! Are you serious? Do you really think your behavior is right and acceptable? They know it isn't, but they don't care. I learned not to smile when correcting people. They don't take you seriously when you say anything with a smile. I learned to confront people immediately. I know confrontation can be hard Friends, but you must put these people on the spot and call them out on their filth! This approach usually works with all predators, and they are predators make no mistake. As long as you understand that you are not wrong. You didn't consent to be abused. You have the right to say NO! If you choose not to say anything immediately, keep copious notes, write the time and date for everything. Because one day you might want to say something. It's your right to keep yourself safe. To be able to go to work every day without the worry of being hurt. This is our right! I know we all have jobs to keep and children to feed, but remember that nothing is worth your peace of mind; even a paycheck. Predators hope for this, this silence that we keep. I kept quiet about most of my harassment and at the time of the most violent encounters, I was married. I was afraid of telling my husband because I knew his reaction would be violent toward my attacker. I felt I needed to protect him. Isn't that funny? I had to protect him, but couldn't find my voice, at that time, to protect myself. This is what we do, we look to comfort others before we comfort ourselves. Be all of that, and also protect, and SHOUT for yourself. Don't allow predators to be comfortable in your presence. Make them feel as if they have ants in their pants everytime they are around you. They must get away! LOL! Wishing you peace and love, but mostly Peace.