Body Soiree

  "Don't make it harder than it is." Me. For the longest time, I have listened to people talk about weight loss as if it can not be done without full-on drama. The Fitness Industry, being the biggest propagator of this fallacy. Now, you might be asking yourself, "Why is Dawn, The Trainer, writing this? Isn't she part of the Fitness Industry?"  Yes. Yes, I am.  I was also really big at one time. It's a both sides of the fence type of thing.  And believe me, this blog isn't going to stop the Fitness Industry from enjoying the $25.6 billion it made in 2021(projected to jump 26% to earn $114.3 billion in revenue by 2028). Nor do I want people to stop getting fit.  I want you to get fit in a healthy, using common sense type of way. Where Tape Worms aren't placed in your intestines(yeah! that's made a resurgence). Or you aren't eating real food but depending solely on protein shakes and exercise to lose weight. Where you aren't ...

We must learn how to live in the space of inner peace in our everyday lives. This takes consistent, conscious effort because I know so many black women are hurting and sad, and we don't easily express our heartache or show our wounds.  Susan L. Taylor I have peace. I told a total stranger on Twitter that I was going to write about how to have inner - peace. Because getting it isn't easy. It takes work! It takes dedication and a willingness to walk away from anything and anyone that will not take your peace seriously. The question is always "How do I gain and keep my peace?" But the real question is: What are you willing to do to get peace? Seriously! Who and what are you willing to give up to have peace? I can only speak as a Black Woman. It's who I am. And what I know is that as  African-Americans we have been inundated with trauma. Day after day, story after story, through film, books, etc. trauma is disseminated and consumed. Trauma, in regards t...

  "Friendly reminder: You control only yourself..." One of the hardest things I had to learn, was that people do what they want. It doesn't matter if they know that what they want is a detriment to their health, mental and physical. I was very naive to the game.  As a Personal Trainer, I had to learn this lesson. As a Mother, I had to learn this lesson.  As a FW(Former Wife)I had to learn this lesson.  It's hard seeing someone you care about hit their head against that figurative brick wall.  You try to save them... you can't. You give advice... they ignore it. You try to steer them in the right direction... they resent you for it. You see the wall. You know this isn't going to end well for them... they also know it isn't going to end well for them.  What do you do? Here comes the real hard part: Sit down and be quiet.  Yes, sit down and let this go. "We don't walk away to teach people a lesson.  We walk away because we finally learned...

  "You get in life what you have the courage to ask for." Ms. Winfrey I was frustrated.  I was burned out.  It was time to wipe the slate clean. I was scared.  As any entrepreneur knows and understands unless we have clients we don't eat.  Well, I think all business owners know this!  But what if you start to lose the joy you once had?  What if you just aren't attracting the type of clients that actually want change?  It is time to have a sit-down with yourself. Go over what you deem as important to your career. What will make you happy? And what is it that you want exactly?  "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." Dr. King This is where things get scary.  I sat down with myself after a very disappointing Personal Training session. The questions I asked myself were not easy: 1. Do you still love what you do? 2. If you do, then why are you attracting people that don...

 When I became a Personal Trainer, I did not know what that entailed.   I understood my role as a Fitness Coach: 1. Assess 2. Set goals. 3. Write Program Designs, etc.  That I got! It might sound weird, but I didn't know about the emotional side of Personal Training?  Well, call me weird. Because I was very naive.  There is something about exercising that brings out all of the emotional baggage.  Personal trainers are a "safe space" for a lot of people. Who knew? I didn't! Then I started to remember moments from my own fitness journey. Way before I knew anything about Personal trainers or personal training.  I did it on my own. I also remember sometimes crying while working out.  Feeling frustrated, with myself or with life in general.  The highs that I felt when I reached a new goal. The fear I felt when I thought I couldn't reach a goal! I am sure a few people on the walking trail thought I was a bit crazy... yeah, I woul...

  "It's not about the weight... I said this to a client once and got cursed out.  Now mind you, I don't usually take it personally when people go off on me. Not that it happens often. (Thank goodness!)  But I know, for the most part, it has nothing to do with me. They are venting, so vent.  But weight, like religion and politics, is a very personal conversation. Most people avoid talking about it. Most people also don't want to hear your opinion.  Talking about weight and weight management is my business. You might be asking yourself "Why would someone hire a Personal Trainer and then curse them out for talking about weight -loss?" Make it make sense. I will! I know what it feels like to be overweight. Society is not kind to overweight people. Be it, family or strangers, folks feel they have the right to give unsolicited "advice" or say the cruelest things to overweight people. I have, throughout my lifetime, experienced both.  So by the...

  "Do you want to be famous? Or infamous?" Obviously, I was very naive. I didn't know that so much sex went on at the gym. Especially between Personal Trainers and their clients. The number is higher than I thought, and so is the risk. I am clutching my invisible pearls.  Why?  If you are a Trainer and you are asking me why? We have some work to do.  Let's go: Watch Your Brand! 1. It is unethical. We won't even get into the moral aspect of this(for those that have them.) We are focusing on the money. Do we not like making money? Do you think if you get caught diddling Daddy or Mama Warbucks wife,  daughter, or son, they might be a bit peeved?  They tell a friend, and the friend tells a friend. See where this goes? Now you are the infamous Diddling PT. That money train crashes and burns.  2. Integrity-less Bear with me for a moment. Sometimes, we train people that are in bad places mentally. Divorce, strained marriage, I could go on. You, th...

"Stay strong and remember that you are loved." Or be weak and know that you are loved. Cry and know that you are loved.  Be wrong and know that you are loved. And if you have a good friend that speaks the truth to you, straight, no chaser, you really are loved.  The big question is: Do you see the love around you?  Have you ever taken the time to think back and realize that you were never alone?  Those people were placed in your life to love you. The Love is There... We are wired to love. It is our greatest asset as humans. Embrace it! It doesn't make you weak to want love. Wherever love finds you, accept it.  Open yourself to it. I am not talking about romantic love! But...Okay.  This can apply. But this goes so much deeper than that. The love you feel for yourself will be the love you attract. From everyone.  "Love yourself as much as you want to be loved" We focus so much on who doesn't love us, that we miss all who  do . We also ...

"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds!"   Marcus Garvey Colorism Colorism is seen around the World. African-American's aren't the creators of this sickness, but some of us are willing participants in the spreading of this illness, so there's that. I can only write about this from the standpoint of an African-American Woman...it's what I am.  I won't get into how colorism began, that's too long a history. Nor will I discuss who helps this sickness along. Why? Because they are sick! And I won't give them any attention on my, small that it may be, platform. This Blog is a loving preventative! not a finger pointer. I love being Black. I always have. I, like most African-Americans, come from a family that is diverse in our "shading." Meaning we have the very, very light to the very, very dark on both sides, paternal and maternal. It wasn't a "thing" in my families. We, a...

 "In learning, you will teach, and in teaching, you will learn." Phil Collins It's wonderful doing what you love to do for a living. It is exciting and fulfilling. You know what's even better? Knowing that you don't know everything and being willing to ask for guidance. This is what we call "Emotional maturity." I can't express how much confidence you will gain, in any profession, when you ask for help from someone you feel is top tier in your field. None of us knows it all and asking for help doesn't mean you don't know anything, it means that you are willing to learn. I speak from experience and ditches stepped over because I listened. Let me explain.  "You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself." Galileo Galilei I knew nothing about Personal Training.  All I knew was that I loved to exercise and I was great at sweating. But man! I loved it! I was one of three Registrars at the lo...

  "Sometimes I can't figure out if I'm in preschool or high school. Oh, wait...I'm at work."  Unknown When it gets this bad on the job, it's time to reassess. I am not talking about walking out. I am talking about what you are allowing yourself to get involved in. I have had many jobs. Some I really liked and others I stayed because I had mouths to feed. When I became a Personal Trainer, I knew it was what I was meant to do. Personal Training brings me joy and satisfaction at the end of my day. I loved working in different gyms with all of these various personalities...so I dropped my "Beware of gossip and mess" radar! You would think that people would be too busy sweating. But what I have learned about Human Beings is that we seem to always have time to gossip. Go figure? Here is where I made my mistake: I listened.  "Believe nothing of what you hear and only half of what you see." Unknown My first big gig as a Personal Traine...

"I don't think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains" Anne Frank As I was scrolling on a Social Media site, minding my own business, I noticed a trend, people asking others what they hate. Really? We get one life. One life to love as much as we can. Should hate be our focus? Can you list all of the things you love? Despite all that is going on in your life, negative or positive? Write that list. Talking or writing about all that you hate, brings more of what you hate, to you. Don't believe me? Have you ever had a really bad morning? Where everything went wrong? You woke up late? stubbed your toe? Burnt toast and nasty coffee? And if you keep focusing on these things, your whole day is ruined. But when you change your focus(Hopefully on something positive)your whole day can and WILL change. So it makes me wonder, why would people want to write a list about all that they hate? Why encourage that type of thinking and feeling? I believe it comes down to t...

" There are some things in this world you rely on, like a sure bet. And when they let you down, shifting from where you've carefully placed them, it shakes your faith, right where you stand." S. Dessen I thought I had shed all of my expectations. I really thought I had stopped expecting things from people...I lied. And I can't tell you how vexed I am about this(I love that word vexed!). I don't believe my expectations were high, but I still had them. I don't ask nor expect smiles from people every day. I don't expect money or kind words from strangers. Heck, I don't even expect that from family. But, I do expect Decency, with a capital D. Did you just say that's even asking too much? Why? Why is it that we, as Human Beings, can't expect people to be decent? I didn't say kind; Decent. There is a difference. I will use this as an example, picture this: You are walking into the grocery store and someone is walking in front of you. They get ...

“It is not as much about who you used to be, as it is  about who you choose to be.” ― Sanhita Baruah  The New Year is upon us and with that comes the New Years Resolution. What are your hopes and dreams for this new year? Sometimes it's hard to figure out. Most of us go for the same things: Good health, getting fit, eating right, etc. And those things are great! But have you thought about the "smaller" things? The things that make our everyday run smoother? It's amazing when we take a moment to ponder and really meditate on what we need physically, mentally and spiritually, how our list will grow. So I sat and pondered and created a Hope list for you. Print this and post it somewhere to remind yourself of all that's possible if you so choose.  I hope that you allow yourself peace. I hope that you allow yourself good food. I hope you allow yourself good coffee or tea. I hope that you choose happiness above drama. I hope that you take the ti...

"There is no easy fix...But it also isn't Rocket Science." Dawn Ellen  It's that time of year again people! The New Years Resolution, I'm going to start on Monday, I just need a Personal Trainer for 2 weeks to get me going and I am going to buy every exercise gadget and pill they show me on t.v, time of year. Those of you who read my Blogs, watch my podcast or know me personally, know my weight-loss story. So I am not some rando Woman who has been thin her whole life talking about weight-loss. I have lived it. And what I am telling you is this(and it might make some angry)stop making this harder and more expensive than it has to be! I am not trying to throw salt on anyone's game: the selling of supplements, diet drinks, shake mixes, blah, blah, and more blah. I used to be that person! I not only sold all of those mentioned above, but I also took my own product, that is, shakes and supplements (all legal!). Then I had to stop, reassess and go back to the beg...

"We need never be ashamed of our tears." Charles Dickens Growing up I was made to feel ashamed of my tears. Often called 'dramatic' or the Black Marilyn Monroe, I took to hiding my tears. As a kid this is a really hard thing to do! Children are or should be so much more connected to their feelings than adults. But when you are told to stop crying, even when you feel hurt or your feelings are minimized and mocked, you build interior and exterior walls. You might even start discounting or second guessing your own feelings. If you are doing this to yourself, I am here to tell you that you have the right to feel...everything!  Have a heart that never hardens... Charles Dickens I used to date a man that was uncomfortable with my tears. If and when I would cry, he would leave the room. No soft touch he would give me or a reassuring word. He would just... leave. It would only make me cry harder. I learned to hide my tears or sadness to please him, just like my child...

"Happiness is not so much what is going on around you, rather, it is what is going on IN you." My mind was made up. I was very clear with myself. Enough! No more drama, indecisiveness or melancholy. Done. I had finally come to a crossroads(not those Crossroads! No deal with the devil:)in my life where I needed to change...again. I had changed outwardly, but still had those toxic thoughts and feelings. I was tired. I knew that if I kept up with playing the same 'songs' in my head, I would backslide right back into my old behaviors of eating my feelings. It was time to deal. Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, In your way of thinking . – Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Happiness is a state of mind. A lot of people hate to hear this. They either dislike happy people(I am SO serious) or they depend on others to make them happy, then they don't have to be accountable for themselves and put in the work like the rest of us. That is cal...

"A Man never knows how to say goodbye; a Woman never knows when to say it." My Mama always said that "Women know when we know." And I would ask "Know what?" and she would respond with "Everything." I didn't understand then. I didn't understand a woman's intuition, long-suffering or staying power. The time and love investments we make is phenomenal. Sometimes to our own detriment no doubt. But guilt and regret are wasteful emotions, so we won't go there. I want to focus on our ability as women, my apologies, upper case W please! Our ability as Women to hold it together when the house is burning down around our ears. I want to talk about how we will stay, even when we knew we should have left years ago and threw all manner of red flags out there, and tried to "fix" broken relationships. I want to talk about how we will laugh when we really want to throw ourselves on the floor and have an old-fashioned crying fit. But we...

                  "Do NOT feed the fears" I have been called "unrealistic." I have been called "Polly Anna." I have been told to face reality, though this reality that I was told to face wasn't mine. But, when I speak the truth, I have also been called a cynic, so there's that(make up your minds!).  I have always found it funny those that call me or those like me, unrealistic. As a Black Woman in America, I get reality checks daily. It is all around me. On the internet, television, spoken of and passed through the DNA. The trauma is real. I don't need reminders or validation from others regarding the trauma, it's there. This is what I call the "Trauma Culture." This isn't people wanting to discuss the trauma, whatever it is, and then heal. No! This is let's roll in the trauma. Let's constantly mire ourselves in it until we can't think or act! Until we can't think about healing because we are so focused on the...

"Make your Vision so clear, that your fears become irrelevant."  I am not a Social Media Expert. Nor do I pretend to be. I, like a lot of people, use Social Media for fun and business. Meeting new people online can be fun and I do love the great conversations that I have had with many. For me, the positive outweighs the negative.  So this past week must have been a full Moon for ding-bats on the internet! The spewing! The verbal attacks! The out and out verifiable untruths that were being bandied about was amazing! The "Thumb-Thuggery" was over the top. Presenting Case #1: The Online Expert...of nothing.  You would think that when a person says they are an expert on whatever they say they are an expert of, they would be able to answer questions regarding topics connected to their alleged expertise(say that fast three times!)? Right? Well, I tried posing a question to one of these "Experts" and was called rude. What? Am I rude because I asked a question ...