Body Soiree

As I sat and listened to some ladies in the locker room today tear themselves down; I wondered: Why?  I have seen the same bunch walking around the gym, talking... talking... and talking some more. Rarely do they really work out, so why the self-deprecating remarks? I know people do this when they are feeling insecure or they are fishing for a compliment. But what I have never understood about this, is the fact that most of the people that I know that are constantly talking badly about themselves, never want to put in the work to change! It is infuriating and frustrating. I have had Clients like this, always ready with the ever present self-deprecating remark, but when I give them a solution for the problem; nope! Too much work, too much time, too much of something that has absolutely nothing to do with the issue at hand. I came to a conclusion, and I might be wrong, but I think some folks love talking crap about themselves and rolling in the same crap. No seriously! Or why would t...

My peace of mind means everything to me.  I find the older and wiser I get, the more I run away, and I mean run, from situations and people that "bring the drama." Being around upheaval is draining. I even noticed when you see people that thrive on drama, it shows up on their faces, meaning they look old and unhappy. Inner- peace is what matters. Research has shown over and over what having that sense of well-being can and will do for you: A better outlook on life in general. Better relations with family and co-workers. Better Health AND a "Youthful" outlook on life. Peace, it does a body good. So what should we do to get this peace? My first move was to stay away from the drama seekers. They are like junkies, always looking for their next fix of  the melodramatic and if they don't find it; they WILL create. I put a no douchebag sign up. Douchebags are in the drama junkie family, except meaner.  I banned gossip and gossipers! This is key to the peace of mind wor...

I am asked quite a bit "Do you date?" When I answer "No, I don't." my answer gets such weird responses. Some have outright called me a liar (why would I need to lie about that?), others are incredulous and start asking me personal questions; to the point of embarrassment! My sexual orientation has been questioned, I have been told I am "Too Alpha" and most men can't handle,won't like or tolerate this. Who knew?!  Why are people so amazed that there is a single woman that chooses not to date? Am I such an anomaly? My ego would love to believe that I am something special, a puzzle to figure out; but I know better. I believe that there are a lot of women AND men like me: Just enjoying my space, my time, my own company. It really isn't complicated.  My last relationship was a serious thing, a force to be reckoned with. All hearts and emotion and we are going to get married talk...then the implosion, explosion and all the other "plosions...

Since I can remember, I have dealt with moments of the "Blues." Melancholy, sadness, whatever you want to call it; it was there, lurking. My Mama always said that I "think too much", as if in some way my melancholy was my fault. Impatiently she would say "Get Up!" or ask in a frustrated voice "What is the matter with you.. NOW!?" I never could answer because that would have opened up a can of worms. As a child, how do you say molestation? How do you broach that subject when you are scared and humiliated? It took me years to see the correlation between my weight gain, depression and my self-imposed solitary confinement and connect the dots straight to, as I like to refer to them "The Bitter Years." I have said this before and I will reiterate: What you don't deal with in your twenties, will bite you in your thirties and dang near kill you in your forties." Once I recognized and allowed myself to  forgive  myself for whatever I t...

I am a little perplexed when people say to me or any other person "lower your standards."  What does that mean exactly? To not expect anything? From anyone? To expect anything, i.e; compassion, consideration, common courtesy, MANNERS!, is to expect too much? Who knew!?  Last night I went to a really fun concert, Chris Isaak, if you haven't seen his show, go next time. Anyway, someone decided to pass gas, no that is being kind. Someone decided to unleash a gaseous piece of Hell! It was just that bad. Four rows of people suffered all because someone didn't have manners enough or was considerate enough to go to the bathroom! Gas happens; but really?!  Are my standards too high that I don't want to smell your insides? I think not. I really do expect simple acts of consideration like: holding the door open for people when I know they are walking in behind me. While driving, allowing people to merge into traffic from an exit. When people say hi to me; I say hi back. Wow...

I read this comment earlier: " I loved too much." Why are you blaming yourself for loving? Why do we do that? One of my Dear, Bestest:) Friends jumped down my throat yrs. ago when I said to them: " You love too hard! That's why you are hurt now." the response was swift and it went something like this: " If you don't love with ALL you have, after you say  you are in love.. then what is the point? You are just wasting time." And he was and still is right. Don't blame yourself for this person not being ready to receive the gift of your Love. They just weren't ready. Or maybe you just weren't ready for each other. Don't lock yourself away because someone didn't recognize the gift of...You.   Wishing everyone ALL the Love their hearts and hands can hold.