When You Want Better
"There are some things in this world you rely on, like a sure bet. And when they let you down, shifting from where you've carefully placed them, it shakes your faith, right where you stand."
S. Dessen
I thought I had shed all of my expectations. I really thought I had stopped expecting things from people...I lied. And I can't tell you how vexed I am about this(I love that word vexed!). I don't believe my expectations were high, but I still had them. I don't ask nor expect smiles from people every day. I don't expect money or kind words from strangers. Heck, I don't even expect that from family. But, I do expect Decency, with a capital D. Did you just say that's even asking too much? Why? Why is it that we, as Human Beings, can't expect people to be decent? I didn't say kind; Decent. There is a difference. I will use this as an example, picture this: You are walking into the grocery store and someone is walking in front of you. They get to the door first and hold it open for you, realizing that if they let the door go, it will slam right in your face. They don't speak to you, they just hold the door open, you say thank you, they give you a head nod to acknowledge they heard you, and keep it moving. That is being Decent. Being Kind is holding the door open, saying hi and wishing you a wonderful day...with a smile. See the difference. Being decent doesn't take a lot of work. You will not break a sweat! Kindness sometimes takes a little bit of work, especially when you aren't in the mood to be kind. Let's all admit that there are days when we aren't at our best. We don't want to be bothered. We might have had a bad day, week...year! I think that decency requires more common - sense than kindness. It requires us to ask ourselves: "Would I want that to happen to me?" "Would I want to be treated that way?" Doing small, decent things like Cleaning the exercise machine after you use it at the gym, see something fall in the store, tell a clerk about it. DO NOT! even if you know it's true, drag someone or their business publically*(Social Media). Do not give your opinion unless you know the facts. All of these are just being a decent person who has common - sense. Put yourself there, again, asking those two questions: "Would I want that to be me?" "Would I want to be treated that way?" I guarantee that the answer to each of those questions will be no.
Attract Who You Are...
As I have worked on being a Decent Human, I have attracted Decent(with a capital D)Humans. If I were to give a percentage of my Decency(yeah, I gauge it:) I would say I am at 85%! Even when I feel myself about to be a Petty Patty, I ask those
two(irritating:)questions. Like so many, I am a work in progress. Do we ever stop evolving? Some people do. They are stuck. Some enjoy being stunted. Then they don't have to take responsibility for their bad behaviors. Those that want growth, even when it might be a little painful, grow. Being a better Human is like starting to exercise, baby steps are required. It's not going to be like "A Christmas Carol" where three ghosts appear to show us the error of our ways and how we can redirect our lives. NOPE! Not that easy, terrifying/creepy or fast. We all must do the work. As always, check out the people in your life. The ones you call friends and they will be the gauge as to how your Decency Project is going. We attract who we are. Facts. Wishing you all love and peace...But mostly Peace.
*Before you go online to disparage someone's person or business, check out the laws in your State regarding Online bullying and slander. You could be taken to court or worse, jail.
S. Dessen
I thought I had shed all of my expectations. I really thought I had stopped expecting things from people...I lied. And I can't tell you how vexed I am about this(I love that word vexed!). I don't believe my expectations were high, but I still had them. I don't ask nor expect smiles from people every day. I don't expect money or kind words from strangers. Heck, I don't even expect that from family. But, I do expect Decency, with a capital D. Did you just say that's even asking too much? Why? Why is it that we, as Human Beings, can't expect people to be decent? I didn't say kind; Decent. There is a difference. I will use this as an example, picture this: You are walking into the grocery store and someone is walking in front of you. They get to the door first and hold it open for you, realizing that if they let the door go, it will slam right in your face. They don't speak to you, they just hold the door open, you say thank you, they give you a head nod to acknowledge they heard you, and keep it moving. That is being Decent. Being Kind is holding the door open, saying hi and wishing you a wonderful day...with a smile. See the difference. Being decent doesn't take a lot of work. You will not break a sweat! Kindness sometimes takes a little bit of work, especially when you aren't in the mood to be kind. Let's all admit that there are days when we aren't at our best. We don't want to be bothered. We might have had a bad day, week...year! I think that decency requires more common - sense than kindness. It requires us to ask ourselves: "Would I want that to happen to me?" "Would I want to be treated that way?" Doing small, decent things like Cleaning the exercise machine after you use it at the gym, see something fall in the store, tell a clerk about it. DO NOT! even if you know it's true, drag someone or their business publically*(Social Media). Do not give your opinion unless you know the facts. All of these are just being a decent person who has common - sense. Put yourself there, again, asking those two questions: "Would I want that to be me?" "Would I want to be treated that way?" I guarantee that the answer to each of those questions will be no.
Attract Who You Are...
As I have worked on being a Decent Human, I have attracted Decent(with a capital D)Humans. If I were to give a percentage of my Decency(yeah, I gauge it:) I would say I am at 85%! Even when I feel myself about to be a Petty Patty, I ask those
two(irritating:)questions. Like so many, I am a work in progress. Do we ever stop evolving? Some people do. They are stuck. Some enjoy being stunted. Then they don't have to take responsibility for their bad behaviors. Those that want growth, even when it might be a little painful, grow. Being a better Human is like starting to exercise, baby steps are required. It's not going to be like "A Christmas Carol" where three ghosts appear to show us the error of our ways and how we can redirect our lives. NOPE! Not that easy, terrifying/creepy or fast. We all must do the work. As always, check out the people in your life. The ones you call friends and they will be the gauge as to how your Decency Project is going. We attract who we are. Facts. Wishing you all love and peace...But mostly Peace.
*Before you go online to disparage someone's person or business, check out the laws in your State regarding Online bullying and slander. You could be taken to court or worse, jail.
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