Feel What You Need To Feel
"We need never be ashamed of our tears."
Charles Dickens
Growing up I was made to feel ashamed of my tears. Often called 'dramatic' or the Black Marilyn Monroe, I took to hiding my tears. As a kid this is a really hard thing to do! Children are or should be so much more connected to their feelings than adults. But when you are told to stop crying, even when you feel hurt or your feelings are minimized and mocked, you build interior and exterior walls. You might even start discounting or second guessing your own feelings. If you are doing this to yourself, I am here to tell you that you have the right to feel...everything!
Have a heart that never hardens...
Charles Dickens
I used to date a man that was uncomfortable with my tears. If and when I would cry, he would leave the room. No soft touch he would give me or a reassuring word. He would just... leave. It would only make me cry harder. I learned to hide my tears or sadness to please him, just like my childhood. I was repeating a pattern and didn't see it. I was told throughout my childhood that I was too soft, that I needed to 'toughen up.' This was said to me by the same man some years later. I was as confused by that term then as I was when I was a child. How does one toughen up? How do you get 'thick skin?' Do you need to get hit a lot? Rocks and barbs thrown at you? Or do you mean that when people are nasty we should just learn to shut up and take it? No. We ultra sensitive cry Babies aren't going to allow you to dictate how we choose to feel or when we feel. Crying when you feel pain, of any kind, doesn't make you too sensitive, it makes you Human.
Joy Inside My Tears...
Stevie Wonder
I allow myself to cry about everything. I cry when I am happy, grateful, angry, I feel what I feel and I don't hide from it, nor do I apologize for it. My feelings are my own and I am comfortable, finally, with them. I realized, once I allowed myself to look back at my childhood and early adulthood, that those people who were uncomfortable with my tears, were really uncomfortable with themselves. They didn't have the emotional tools to lay bare their own feelings and pain. It didn't have anything to do with me. After a lot of work, I could forgive them. My journey in Joy is still ongoing. I am finding happiness and peace in my tears. Allow yourself to cry, to laugh loudly!to stamp your feet when you are angry and to forgive without regret. I will leave you with another quote from Charles Dickens, but before I leave I wish you peace and love, but mostly, peace.
"It opens the lungs, washes the countenance, exercises the eyes, and softens down the temper; so cry away."
Charles Dickens
Growing up I was made to feel ashamed of my tears. Often called 'dramatic' or the Black Marilyn Monroe, I took to hiding my tears. As a kid this is a really hard thing to do! Children are or should be so much more connected to their feelings than adults. But when you are told to stop crying, even when you feel hurt or your feelings are minimized and mocked, you build interior and exterior walls. You might even start discounting or second guessing your own feelings. If you are doing this to yourself, I am here to tell you that you have the right to feel...everything!
Have a heart that never hardens...
Charles Dickens
I used to date a man that was uncomfortable with my tears. If and when I would cry, he would leave the room. No soft touch he would give me or a reassuring word. He would just... leave. It would only make me cry harder. I learned to hide my tears or sadness to please him, just like my childhood. I was repeating a pattern and didn't see it. I was told throughout my childhood that I was too soft, that I needed to 'toughen up.' This was said to me by the same man some years later. I was as confused by that term then as I was when I was a child. How does one toughen up? How do you get 'thick skin?' Do you need to get hit a lot? Rocks and barbs thrown at you? Or do you mean that when people are nasty we should just learn to shut up and take it? No. We ultra sensitive cry Babies aren't going to allow you to dictate how we choose to feel or when we feel. Crying when you feel pain, of any kind, doesn't make you too sensitive, it makes you Human.
Joy Inside My Tears...
Stevie Wonder
I allow myself to cry about everything. I cry when I am happy, grateful, angry, I feel what I feel and I don't hide from it, nor do I apologize for it. My feelings are my own and I am comfortable, finally, with them. I realized, once I allowed myself to look back at my childhood and early adulthood, that those people who were uncomfortable with my tears, were really uncomfortable with themselves. They didn't have the emotional tools to lay bare their own feelings and pain. It didn't have anything to do with me. After a lot of work, I could forgive them. My journey in Joy is still ongoing. I am finding happiness and peace in my tears. Allow yourself to cry, to laugh loudly!to stamp your feet when you are angry and to forgive without regret. I will leave you with another quote from Charles Dickens, but before I leave I wish you peace and love, but mostly, peace.
"It opens the lungs, washes the countenance, exercises the eyes, and softens down the temper; so cry away."
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