Body Soiree

“It is not as much about who you used to be, as it is  about who you choose to be.” ― Sanhita Baruah  The New Year is upon us and with that comes the New Years Resolution. What are your hopes and dreams for this new year? Sometimes it's hard to figure out. Most of us go for the same things: Good health, getting fit, eating right, etc. And those things are great! But have you thought about the "smaller" things? The things that make our everyday run smoother? It's amazing when we take a moment to ponder and really meditate on what we need physically, mentally and spiritually, how our list will grow. So I sat and pondered and created a Hope list for you. Print this and post it somewhere to remind yourself of all that's possible if you so choose.  I hope that you allow yourself peace. I hope that you allow yourself good food. I hope you allow yourself good coffee or tea. I hope that you choose happiness above drama. I hope that you take the ti...

"There is no easy fix...But it also isn't Rocket Science." Dawn Ellen  It's that time of year again people! The New Years Resolution, I'm going to start on Monday, I just need a Personal Trainer for 2 weeks to get me going and I am going to buy every exercise gadget and pill they show me on t.v, time of year. Those of you who read my Blogs, watch my podcast or know me personally, know my weight-loss story. So I am not some rando Woman who has been thin her whole life talking about weight-loss. I have lived it. And what I am telling you is this(and it might make some angry)stop making this harder and more expensive than it has to be! I am not trying to throw salt on anyone's game: the selling of supplements, diet drinks, shake mixes, blah, blah, and more blah. I used to be that person! I not only sold all of those mentioned above, but I also took my own product, that is, shakes and supplements (all legal!). Then I had to stop, reassess and go back to the beg...

"We need never be ashamed of our tears." Charles Dickens Growing up I was made to feel ashamed of my tears. Often called 'dramatic' or the Black Marilyn Monroe, I took to hiding my tears. As a kid this is a really hard thing to do! Children are or should be so much more connected to their feelings than adults. But when you are told to stop crying, even when you feel hurt or your feelings are minimized and mocked, you build interior and exterior walls. You might even start discounting or second guessing your own feelings. If you are doing this to yourself, I am here to tell you that you have the right to feel...everything!  Have a heart that never hardens... Charles Dickens I used to date a man that was uncomfortable with my tears. If and when I would cry, he would leave the room. No soft touch he would give me or a reassuring word. He would just... leave. It would only make me cry harder. I learned to hide my tears or sadness to please him, just like my child...

"Happiness is not so much what is going on around you, rather, it is what is going on IN you." My mind was made up. I was very clear with myself. Enough! No more drama, indecisiveness or melancholy. Done. I had finally come to a crossroads(not those Crossroads! No deal with the devil:)in my life where I needed to change...again. I had changed outwardly, but still had those toxic thoughts and feelings. I was tired. I knew that if I kept up with playing the same 'songs' in my head, I would backslide right back into my old behaviors of eating my feelings. It was time to deal. Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, In your way of thinking . – Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Happiness is a state of mind. A lot of people hate to hear this. They either dislike happy people(I am SO serious) or they depend on others to make them happy, then they don't have to be accountable for themselves and put in the work like the rest of us. That is cal...

"A Man never knows how to say goodbye; a Woman never knows when to say it." My Mama always said that "Women know when we know." And I would ask "Know what?" and she would respond with "Everything." I didn't understand then. I didn't understand a woman's intuition, long-suffering or staying power. The time and love investments we make is phenomenal. Sometimes to our own detriment no doubt. But guilt and regret are wasteful emotions, so we won't go there. I want to focus on our ability as women, my apologies, upper case W please! Our ability as Women to hold it together when the house is burning down around our ears. I want to talk about how we will stay, even when we knew we should have left years ago and threw all manner of red flags out there, and tried to "fix" broken relationships. I want to talk about how we will laugh when we really want to throw ourselves on the floor and have an old-fashioned crying fit. But we...

                  "Do NOT feed the fears" I have been called "unrealistic." I have been called "Polly Anna." I have been told to face reality, though this reality that I was told to face wasn't mine. But, when I speak the truth, I have also been called a cynic, so there's that(make up your minds!).  I have always found it funny those that call me or those like me, unrealistic. As a Black Woman in America, I get reality checks daily. It is all around me. On the internet, television, spoken of and passed through the DNA. The trauma is real. I don't need reminders or validation from others regarding the trauma, it's there. This is what I call the "Trauma Culture." This isn't people wanting to discuss the trauma, whatever it is, and then heal. No! This is let's roll in the trauma. Let's constantly mire ourselves in it until we can't think or act! Until we can't think about healing because we are so focused on the...

"Make your Vision so clear, that your fears become irrelevant."  I am not a Social Media Expert. Nor do I pretend to be. I, like a lot of people, use Social Media for fun and business. Meeting new people online can be fun and I do love the great conversations that I have had with many. For me, the positive outweighs the negative.  So this past week must have been a full Moon for ding-bats on the internet! The spewing! The verbal attacks! The out and out verifiable untruths that were being bandied about was amazing! The "Thumb-Thuggery" was over the top. Presenting Case #1: The Online Expert...of nothing.  You would think that when a person says they are an expert on whatever they say they are an expert of, they would be able to answer questions regarding topics connected to their alleged expertise(say that fast three times!)? Right? Well, I tried posing a question to one of these "Experts" and was called rude. What? Am I rude because I asked a question ...