The Letting Go

I had a hard time letting go. People, things with any type of sentimental attachment, etc. It was the idea that I had abandoned someone that I couldn't shake. What if they might need me? What if they are left alone and something bad happens to them? What if all they need is just one more chance to act right and I leave? Then what?! I am writing about this because just last night, as I was cleaning out my backpack, a note from years ago dropped out of my agenda. It was a note written by an ex-fiance listing all of the reasons he loved me. This note was written over seven years ago... why do I still have it? I thought I had become this person who every six months cleans house, literally and figuratively. Clothes, shoes, linens, people, I clean house, but I guess old habits die hard and for some reason I kept this list and then promptly put it away and purposely forgot it.  Did I need validation? I was a good Woman to him, he was a donkey( did you know some donkey's walk and talk?!)  I was his love/obsession and he was my passion and it was toxic all the way around. You will attract who you are, how many times do we hear this now? And boy! was he my mirror in most ways, though back then I wouldn't admit it or accept it. When you find these little 'blasts from the past' it is jarring. You believe you have done the work! I have grown dang it! I have EVOLVED! Well, it is true for all of us, we are all works in progress and getting through all of the unhealthy attachments is part of the evolution. It is still hard to let go of people that I love even when I know it isn't in my highest and best interest to be around them; but I do let go.  I ask who should I be spending my precious time with? And our time is precious because it is OUR time. You know what the key to all of this letting go is? Forgiveness. Yes, the F-word again! You must forgive people who have hurt you, abandoned you, lied to you, almost sucked all of your emotions out of your body and would have left you as a dry husk; forgive! Holding on only stumbles and blocks all of the good coming your way. It never is about them; it is always about us. Remember that. Wishing you Love and Peace, but mostly Peace.