Body Soiree

Since I can remember, I have dealt with moments of the "Blues." Melancholy, sadness, whatever you want to call it; it was there, lurking. My Mama always said that I "think too much", as if in some way my melancholy was my fault. Impatiently she would say "Get Up!" or ask in a frustrated voice "What is the matter with you.. NOW!?" I never could answer because that would have opened up a can of worms. As a child, how do you say molestation? How do you broach that subject when you are scared and humiliated? It took me years to see the correlation between my weight gain, depression and my self-imposed solitary confinement and connect the dots straight to, as I like to refer to them "The Bitter Years." I have said this before and I will reiterate: What you don't deal with in your twenties, will bite you in your thirties and dang near kill you in your forties." Once I recognized and allowed myself to  forgive  myself for whatever I t...

I am a little perplexed when people say to me or any other person "lower your standards."  What does that mean exactly? To not expect anything? From anyone? To expect anything, i.e; compassion, consideration, common courtesy, MANNERS!, is to expect too much? Who knew!?  Last night I went to a really fun concert, Chris Isaak, if you haven't seen his show, go next time. Anyway, someone decided to pass gas, no that is being kind. Someone decided to unleash a gaseous piece of Hell! It was just that bad. Four rows of people suffered all because someone didn't have manners enough or was considerate enough to go to the bathroom! Gas happens; but really?!  Are my standards too high that I don't want to smell your insides? I think not. I really do expect simple acts of consideration like: holding the door open for people when I know they are walking in behind me. While driving, allowing people to merge into traffic from an exit. When people say hi to me; I say hi back. Wow...

I read this comment earlier: " I loved too much." Why are you blaming yourself for loving? Why do we do that? One of my Dear, Bestest:) Friends jumped down my throat yrs. ago when I said to them: " You love too hard! That's why you are hurt now." the response was swift and it went something like this: " If you don't love with ALL you have, after you say  you are in love.. then what is the point? You are just wasting time." And he was and still is right. Don't blame yourself for this person not being ready to receive the gift of your Love. They just weren't ready. Or maybe you just weren't ready for each other. Don't lock yourself away because someone didn't recognize the gift of...You.   Wishing everyone ALL the Love their hearts and hands can hold.